The Enneagram

I BELIEVE THAT: I will only get love and appreciation by taking care of others’ important needs

MY ATTENTION GOES TO: The needs of others and being indispensable

MY STRENGTHS ARE: Empathy, sensitivity to feelings, generousness, kindness, and a radar for other people’s needs

I OFTEN STRUGGLE WITH: Knowing my own needs, asking for what I need, saying “no” to others, and setting healthy boundaries

WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD FOR ME: I recognize my needs and ask for help, have the capacity to receive from others without strings attached, and accept that I can relax and needs will be met without my effort

SOME DEVELOPMENTAL TIPS:

• Watch your tendency to become overly helpful or assume responsibility for others’ issues.
• Be willing to set limits for yourself. Be realistic about what you can accomplish.
• Claim your own voice and give yourself what you need.
• Practice setting boundaries and learn that saying “no” is not as big a deal as it feels.

RESOURCE POINTS: Stress Point is Type 8 and Security Point is Type 4

I BELIEVE THAT: I am valued and recognized for what I do and that people are rewarded for what they do and achieve

MY ATTENTION GOES TO: Achieving, having a winning, successful image, and tasks and goals

MY STRENGTHS ARE: Hard-working, go-ahead energy, getting things done, being efficient, and adaptability in different situations

I STRUGGLE WITH: Overextending myself, a deep and sometimes unconscious fear of failure, inattention to my own and other people’s feelings, impatience

WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD FOR ME: I am authentic in my words, actions, and feelings, and I know that things unfold as they should and are not wholly dependent on my efforts which means I can just be myself

SOME DEVELOPMENTAL TIPS:

• Making relationships and feelings a priority.
• Remember that you are valued for who you are not just what you do and accomplish.
• Slow down. Things will happen in a natural order.
• Look around and see if others are with you.

RESOURCE POINTS: Stress Point is Type 9 and Security Point is Type 6

I BELIEVE THAT:  Something important is missing and I long for that; I believe I am unique and different than others

MY ATTENTION GOES TO: What is missing or unattainable in the present moment

MY STRENGTHS ARE: Sensitive, empathetic, attuned to feelings, creative, and passionate

I STRUGGLE WITH: Longing, envy, feeling different, and being perceived as overly dramatic

WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD FOR ME: I am emotionally balanced and I see the extraordinary in the ordinary

SOME DEVELOPMENTAL TIPS:

• Shift attention from what is missing to being grateful for what is present.
  Build emotional awareness and regulation.
• Pay attention when you actually have versus wanting what the other has or is unattainable.
• When feeling shame or lacking something, remember that at your core, you are whole and complete.

RESOURCE POINTS: Stress Point is Type 2 and Security Point is Type 1

I BELIEVE THAT: The world demands too much and gives too little; I protect my privacy to conserve my energy

MY ATTENTION GOES TO: Intrusion, detaching and observing, compartmentalizing, and retreating into my thoughts

MY STRENGTHS ARE: Self-sufficient and independent; a relied-upon expert, calm in a crisis, dependable, and honors others’ confidences

I STRUGGLE WITH: Privacy that can lead to isolation and detachment from my feelings and the feelings of others, people feeling rejected by my withholding

WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD FOR ME: I am open, connected and engaged with others, and generous with sharing myself––both giving and receiving

SOME DEVELOPMENTAL TIPS:

• Monitor the need to know more and know when enough information is enough.
• Share what you know with others as a way of connecting with them.
• Be generous with sharing your feelings.
• Move from your head into your heart and body to be more energized.

RESOURCE POINTS: Stress Point is Type 8 and Security Point is Type 7

I BELIEVE THAT: The world demands too much and gives too little; I protect my privacy to conserve my energy

MY ATTENTION GOES TO: Questioning, doubting, and determining who and what I can trust

MY STRENGTHS ARE: Thoughtful, loyalty to others and causes, responsible and dutiful, troubleshooting, and problem solving

I OFTEN STRUGGLE WITH: Doubt, anxiety, seeking certainty, trusting myself and others

WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD FOR ME: I am courageous and trusting of myself

SOME DEVELOPMENTAL TIPS:

• Notice if you are experiencing fear from a phobic or counter-phobic stance. If from a phobic stance, you might be avoiding/denying the fear. If a counter-phobic stance, you might be trying to overcome the fear by battling through it.
• Learn to acknowledge and embody your own authority.
• Learn to play and tap into your creativity.
• Remember your questioning style has value. Use it wisely!

RESOURCE POINTS: Stress Point is Type 3 and Security Point is Type 9

I BELIEVE THAT: Pain is optional and can be avoided by keeping life up, staying positive and being free from limitations

MY ATTENTION GOES TO: Options, positive thinking, possibilities, and pleasurable future plans

I STRUGGLE WITH: Limits, commitments, scattered attention, authority, and pain

WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD FOR ME: I am steady, present, accepting limitations, and able to embrace the fullness of life, both positive and negative

SOME DEVELOPMENTAL TIPS:

• Watch that your own agenda doesn’t exclude the contributions of others and limits the real possibilities of collaboration.
• Notice your monkey-mind and how it distracts you from staying present.
  Meeting commitments and staying with something until completion can feel really good!
• Acknowledge your feelings as they arise and give them space and attention.

RESOURCE POINTS: Stress Point is Type 1 and Security Point is Type 5

I BELIEVE THAT: It is a hard and unjust world and strength, and power is required to survive and protect others

MY ATTENTION GOES TO: Power, control, and injustice

MY STRENGTHS ARE: Strong, straightforward, protective of others, high energy, and driven

I STRUGGLE WITH: My excessive energy, not being in control, impatience, and being vulnerable

WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD FOR ME: I’m open-hearted, giving, and my energy is appropriate for the momen

SOME DEVELOPMENTAL TIPS:

• Manage your energy. “It doesn’t take a 30 lb. weight to lift a bag of feathers.” (David Daniels, MD)
• Remember that accepting your vulnerability is actually a strength.
• Add a little gentleness to your directness.
• Take time to rest and recharge. Your energy will exhaust you beyond your awareness and then you’ll crash.

RESOURCE POINTS: Stress Point is Type 5 and Security Point is Type 2

I BELIEVE THAT: I need to blend in, go along to get along, and avoid conflict at all costs

MY ATTENTION GOES TO:
Maintaining harmony, avoiding conflict, seeking comfort, other people’s priorities, needs, and agendas

MY STRENGTHS ARE: Able to get along with all types of people and view them in a nonjudgmental way, genuinely helpful, caring, supportive of others, and steady

I STRUGGLE WITH:
Finding a sense of belonging and comfort, dealing with conflict, recognizing and dealing with anger, making decisions, and knowing what I want or need

WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD FOR ME: I know what I want and act with clarity and purpos

SOME DEVELOPMENTAL TIPS:

• Identify what you want or need each day, and make it a priority. Start by noticing what you don’t want if that helps.

• Notice when you are being passive aggressive and explore possible sources of your irritation, frustration or anger.

• Reframe conflict as disagreement, not disconnection, and work toward a resolution starting first with what you do agree with.

• Notice when you merge with others’ views and clearly express your own perspective.

RESOURCE POINTS: Stress Point is Type 6 and Security Point is Type 3